Anybody who has ever trained for a big event (think about any sports championship), planned something for many months (weddings, births, etc.), practiced for a performance (such as performing in a big theater production) probably understands the "day after letdown". After all, your focus for so many weeks or months has surrounded that one event and suddenly, after just a few minutes sometimes, it has all ended. There is no more "thing" to think about, practice for, work toward......life just goes back to normal, whatever that may be.
Odd as it may sound, I am currently experiencing the "Biggest Loser letdown". For 8 weeks every moment has been focused on how many calories will this cost me, how many calories do I have left for the day, how much more do I need to work out today to balance it out, what if I haven't done enough, what if I let my team down. And suddenly, after just a couple of seconds on the scale yesterday, all of that is gone. We've spent 8 weeks counting down how many days of the competition were left. Spent the last 48 hours counting down how many HOURS of the competition we had left. Talked about everything we planned on doing afterwards - everything we want to eat now that has been "forbidden". And now that it's all over, I don't know what to do. It's almost as though I feel I have no purpose, no goal, nothing "to do".
I know that eventually I will find my normal. And I'm not going to lie -I'm very happy to be rid of the stress of the competition. Now I just need to focus on being healthy again. But I gotta tell ya, today just feels weird.
As for me....
ReplyDeleteI'm scared to death! Every time some one shares a "congratulations on your team winning the contest" comment with me...I freak out inside thinking: What if I backslide? What if I gain all the weight I've lost over the years and then I have to deal with the pitty-looks of "Oh, bless her heart, guess those McDonalds Frappes really ARE going to be what kills her in the end, kinda thought it was going to be a goose attack for while there, but she's back to eating again...."
This weight-loss thing is such a mind trick. Our bodies know what they want, when they want it, and what they'll do with it once they get it...but our heads...our heads keep f***ing things up for us!
What we have to remember here is the "finish line" in this contest is not the end. There is no final inning. The buzzer is not going to sound with a last second shot. There isn't a fourth down with inches to go. When we walk into a room there isn't someone holding a white ribbon for us to run through. Our game continues and we have to stay focused. This BL contest was an avenue of encouragement, but not an end by any means.
Right now, we start again. To continue with my totally awesome sports metaphorical examples...we really don't get a chance to sit on the bench while the rest of the world plays. If we're breathing, we're in the game, so how you play it is up to you.
Today, I felt like crap. After a few days of being chill with our healthy routine, I literally feel like a moldy pile of butter covered in bacon grease and doughnut crumbs. I didn't eat bacon or doughnuts, but you get what I'm saying. This feeling is enough to totally bum me out and remind me that this is what we were trying to avoid...this feeling of, "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST SHOVE A VACUUM HOSE IN MY BELLY BUTTON AND GET THIS CRAP OFF ME!"
I can't be without this challenge of motivation. It's too easy to slip into old habits. So, we're going to keep going and keep challenging ourselves with new goals.
Next up....13 lbs. by the end of April.